Ida Lawrence, Contributor
Waking Times

Who or what am I? We say “I Am”, but who or what is that? It seems there are many answers offered. Maybe the question has been fully answered for you. To me, the ‘I Am’ relates to empowerment as a Being; the capacity to create, the discipline to surrender to Higher Self, having ‘heart’ power, or fearless living, or all of it and then some.

In the last article I offered some conversation about contemplating. Does a flower in the desert complain and say, “I should be in a rainforest?” Of course not. It grows where it is. So, among the things I contemplate are the circumstances that surround me.

Knowing I am in the perfect place, and the people and situations I have brought to myself are my climate, do I feel the need for change? If I do, then let’s see what heart I can put into that, and what fears I can leave behind.

Sometimes our life circumstances are challenging, to say the least: unique challenges that meet you right at your weak spot. I’ve watched it happen again and again. Aha… this is for my liberation – I am recognizing my weak spot and seeking the way through.

Today I’d like to talk about liberation, and that of a specific type. One might say that all liberation is the same, and we have talked about it… working through the shadow aspects, the emotions and opinions of the ego, the conditioning, the programming, the concept of self as personality, or profession, or sexuality, or even as object of desire. While the process of liberation might be the same, for each of us the journey is unique.

I came into this world with the DNA and most likely the memories of a family line, and then I was conditioned into a culture, handed a narrative that I was expected to internalize, and bombarded with the energy of those around me. Quite a start! And we all go through it.

My higher Self, the energy/information, chose to incarnate and meet the challenges of life from a feminine perspective in a pre-set environment. It was a profound opportunity, the same as for all of us, as our presence here at this time is nothing short of a miracle. We are making a transition, envisioning the collapse of this matrix, intending the healing of ourselves and the earth: bringing into existence a heaven… the ‘here after’.

Heaven wears the face of a woman. What that means is the feminine polarity in all of us is called to recognize its true essence. Tenderness, receptivity, generosity; embodiment of healing and nurturing; conceiving, transforming and birthing energy – Creation! What love and beauty we see in nature and in the Earth, we will see in ourselves. In this feminine polarity we find balance with the masculine heart/mind: strength, peace, truth and justice.

The empowerment of the woman within a destructive, degraded system is not feminine liberation. We all know this, and awareness of it shows up as complaints about the effects of the women’s movement. Hillary Clinton is one of many high profile examples where we see empowerment with no feminine liberation. How could a person embodying the feminine polarity advocate the killing machine that is the war on terror? It’s profoundly unnatural for a life-giver and life-nurturer, and yet we see it in all too many.

So yes, the cringe-worthy stuff is apparent, but… I’ve experienced life before the women’s movement, and I know that the take down of that first-level matrix was a necessity. It had to be done in order to have enough space and clarity to ask the question, “Who am I.”

After a very long time period of being controlled by an out of balance mindset, one has to discover ‘who I am not’ in order to explore ‘I Am’. We have seen this same process play out in the psychology of all oppressed or forcibly assimilated peoples, and we see it in the woman.

Now to the difficult but beautiful part: difficult to express in writing, beautiful to experience. Balance and harmony between the masculine and feminine: we know how to think of it intellectually, define the attributes of each, envision the polarities within, work on developing that inner balance, even feel the polarities within and see them manifesting… but how do we do in relationship with each other?

Let’s imagine if the woman asked herself, “Do I have respect or even reverence for the man and his energy?” And the bigger question, “Do I feel safe within the essence of femininity?” If there is no feeling of safety, it is natural to retreat. I know… I’ve done it. Or, the lack of safety can lead to a much worse reaction of competitor or adversary.

I previously spoke of the feminine as the womb of creation. This energy cannot be diminished, trampled, stripped of its treasure or exploited and still remain receptive… it must be awakened and loved. Both the woman and the man play a role in this, as the man’s heart can be damaged by the retreat, the competition or the adversarial stance.

Earlier I mentioned the circumstances that surround me, and those circumstances bring me to the subjects I discuss. I am a spark of the divinity as are you, and we are all beautiful whoever we are, into whatever evolutionary experience our journey takes us.

For me, the lifelong desire has been to have the feminine energy awakened within, empowered and loved, and held in high regard as a vital/equal balancing force. It has been a long journey from a conditioned mindset, to an emotionally controlled existence, to a truth-seeking spirituality, to a tenuous empowerment, to freedom of expression, to an embrace. There, at the last, came the softness, the fearless receptivity… the union of masculine and feminine energies from which all life emerged.

Like Stuart Wilde, I too ask for a new chivalry, as this is an outward expression of an inner reverence. We need it now… to be honorable, to adore each other’s divinity, and to show it.

About the Author

Ida Lawrence is an author, blogger, copywriter and editor based in Atlanta, Georgia. She has contributed to and edited two books on racial justice and human rights, and numerous articles on human rights, self-empowerment and related subjects. Her latest book is entitled The Warrior’s Way to Heaven on Earth. Ida has also published a companion book of blog favorites from http://talk2momz.com/.

This article is offered under Creative Commons license. It’s okay to republish it anywhere as long as attribution bio is included and all links remain intact.

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