Ida Lawrence, Contributor
Waking Times

I contemplate. Isn’t that an enjoyable sentence? Just two words that contain so much. A child’s sense of wonder… it’s not necessarily seeing everything as wonderful, but wondering about reality. We have a natural desire for things to be made clear and comprehensible, and to know the reason. If it doesn’t make sense, we keep at it until we’re satisfied, or until the ‘authority’ starts to show signs of irritation.

As we grow, conditioning narrows the field of perception and inquiry. Education enters the picture, offering both the questions and the answers. We are conditioned to behave and know what we are supposed to know. So there you have it – the box that is our world, containing the problems, the solutions, and the rules. Everything defined, creation and exploration limited to the service of the box.

Still, oftentimes in secret, we experiment because we want to Really Know, and not just accept. Direct experience satisfies the ‘I wonder’ to a degree, and we compare our experience with that of others… aha… that’s what you experienced too? Experience and check it out – it works, to a degree, in search of knowing.

And then we grow up. We are expected to stop wondering and start doing, or to invest our desire to know into knowing the system, knowing how to be successful, knowing practical things. And there’s nothing wrong with that kind of knowing.

System skills, doing business or even success can be painful for fringe dwellers. We agreed to be here, and it takes money to do that, so business is part of our journey. But… there is always a question, and that is: who or what are you serving. If our source of personal strength is inner truth and our dedication is to ‘really growing up’ into alignment with spirit or being one’s true self, then we will have to deal with contradictions.

Thinking back to years ago, which seems like lifetimes ago, I decided that the least compromising job I could do would be to clean people’s houses – so I did that. Physical labor is pretty clean: do the job, do it well, get paid, go home and there you have it – nothing messing with your mind! You can think as you wish, observe, perceive, wonder, study… you belong to you.

Belonging to you: Some months ago I wrote an article expressing that I don’t see people as sheeple. I see most of them as individuals striving, trying to be as decent as they can. But always in the mind is the question… why do they submit? Why do so many of the people not look around anymore? Do they notice the inconsistencies? Where are their minds? What happened to ‘I contemplate’ or ‘I wonder’.

Then along came an experience to help me understand a bit more. It took me back to another former me, when I paid my bills by doing copywriting. I was offered a corporate copywriting job, and I figured, “This will be an easy few bucks and then I’ll return to what I love.”

But… I discovered that when you try to put yourself back in the box, after having been free to travel in the heart/mind and feed the spirit, you can see what you lose. I got involved in the tasks of keyword placement, the corporate language, the whole shebang, and when I tried to leave it and relax, I found no easy bridge between the job mind and the heart/mind.

I had to work at bridging – complete the corporate project, listen to some videos, listen to some music, quiet down inside and go outside, do some reading… and then, only after time and effort, could I return to myself. I couldn’t be in it and then quickly out of it, which was kind of a surprise. I had to wonder how I used to do those jobs.

I guess that’s why we call it a journey: there is a distance, and there are transitions. We travel in search of happiness, or peace within, or comprehension of what our potentialities are. We make many choices, turn away from conditioning, and sometimes sacrifice is required. A person has to want their consciousness and experience to expand… or maybe I should say need. We go for what we need.

To begin to break away from the box is not easy, but collectively/individually we are reaching the point of… “If I don’t do it now, will I ever?” We’re in a time of great change, and I believe most people can feel it in some way. Consequently our intention to evolve carries more weight than one might imagine.

Recently I talked to a businessman friend, good soul, loves family… and I asked him, “Do you ever think about spiritual things, what’s going on in the world, how it might all fit together, why we’re here during this time-period?” He answered, “No, I never do. My time is taken up with work and when I get home I eat dinner, spend time with family, watch an hour of TV and go to bed.”

So that’s it… a decent person living a normal life. He hasn’t killed off the little boy who said “I wonder,” as one can sense some sadness and cover up deep down… but he is laden with responsibility and success. He identifies with success. He feels that he Has to maintain it for the sake of all those who depend on it, and because his time is taken up, the bridge is out of sight.

And yet, he is serving others in a sense, by offering work and paying fairly. So is it important for him to expand his awareness? I don’t know the answer to that… maybe just loving and accepting and wishing him well is good enough. Will the coming changes shake him up out of sleep, so to speak? Yes, I’m sure they will.

In my heart I reach out and whisper to him: “Don’t be afraid when the truth hits you. Truth is never against you, it is Divinity… it’s the reality you were seeking when you started out on this journey.”

Even if it causes the entire structure of belief to collapse, truth is Love, and that energy and light is For the real you. That is the reality.

About the Author

Ida Lawrence is an author, blogger, copywriter and editor based in Atlanta, Georgia. She has contributed to and edited two books on racial justice and human rights, and numerous articles on human rights, self-empowerment and related subjects. Her latest book is entitled The Warrior’s Way to Heaven on Earth. Ida has also published a companion book of blog favorites from http://talk2momz.com/.

This article is offered under Creative Commons license. It’s okay to republish it anywhere as long as attribution bio is included and all links remain intact.

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