Manifestations of Narcissism in Relationships

January 23, 2019

Sophia Adamson, Staff
Waking Times

A narcissist is not capable of a strong relationship, let alone friendship because they cannot build the right connection with people; they don’t know such a thing as loyalty. People suffering from narcissism consider marriage and serious relationships a status of a normal position in society instead of a sincere desire to create a real family because they are incapable of deep emotional affection.

Therefore, despite the desire to have “ideal relations” which they are not able to maintain due to their obsession with “themselves,” most often, narcissists focus on short connections based on pleasure without any obligations. Responsibility causes them to panic.

The relationship with a narcissist is devastating. As a rule, in the process of seduction, the narcissist is charming and charismatic; to attract a partner, they use their charm to the maximum, but as soon as their goal has been reached, and the relationship reaches a deeper level, they change their behavior and reduce their interest in you to nothing, inflicting a partner psychological trauma, one after another.

They demand absolute love and care from their victims, but at the same time, they drive their partners into the framework of narcissistic demands: everything must go according to their rules. Most often, they are looking for a partner to whom they will transfer their obligations to achieve unrealistic goals, in which they are interested in, but they don’t want to put either a lot of effort or time in this. When they are faced with the impossibility of achieving this goal, they blame their partner for everything.

Romance for a narcissist is a game with power. The whole point of communicating with a narcissist is reduced to the endless spurring of their ego. They seek to occupy a dominant position, impose their own rules of the game; they suppress and break their partner, but at the same time, they are constantly looking for someone better.

The desire to satisfy their whims and very vague notions of morality make them believe that they have the full right to do whatever they want, which pushes them to a constant search for new sexual partners.

Imagine someone without some elementary conscience. Narcissists instinctively seek partners among those in whom there is a phobia of being abandoned – similar to their own phobia to be rejected, thereby preventing the risk of a possible separation. Such people are easier to attach to yourself. They will decide when to put an end to the relationship.

A narcissist will often try to provoke pity from their partner. They play on your heartstrings, and you cannot do anything about it. It is natural that when you meet a person for whom you feel sympathy and who seems to you to be lonely and lost, needing support, you are trying to make it easier for that person. But in reality, everything ends with the fact that you find yourself in the position of a victim that is being lied to, used, and constantly cheated on.

They play with your mind: they begin to destroy your self-confidence and make you feel unattractive. They often point to external shortcomings, highlighting and emphasizing your weaknesses. And after bringing you to a critical condition, they whip out their indifferent attitude; they say that you should not react to their behavior “so emotionally.” As a result, the partner begins to ask questions: how good is he/she as a person when all of the virtues are constantly being questioned.

All this leads to the fact that such relationships turn into an extremely unstable and emotionally draining period of time. If you dare to raise the topic that this situation upsets you, they will tell you that you have a “problem” with an understanding of the situation, you are wrong, or it’s all about your “unhealthy” jealousy, and they will find a way to interrupt the conversation. And if this person is dear to you, and you do not want to go into conflict, you have no choice but to surrender, reconciling with the state of things. Perhaps you will even begin to believe that your opinion was incorrect in the first place. But it was.

(Text is taken from Contact Brides, where you can meet women now.)