15 Toxic Beliefs You Should Give Up to Be Happy
Luminita Saviuc, Purpose Fairy
Waking Times
There are so many limiting and toxic beliefs we hold on to, beliefs that keep us from living the happy, joyful and meaningful life we all deserve to live. And by giving up on them, by letting go of all the extra baggage that is weighting us down, we allow ourselves to be happy. And we give life permission to shower us with the many wonderful and precious gifts it has to offer. So without further adieu, I say, give up and be happy. Let’s begin…
1. I am not enough
Give up this limiting and toxic belief of you not being enough – “good enough”, “smart enough”, “rich enough:, “beautiful enough”, etc. Remind yourself as often as possible that who you are is more than enough.
Place your hands over your heart, take a few cleansing breaths and repeat these words to yourself: “Who I am is enough. Who I am is more than enough. Not because of how my life looks externally, but because of who I truly am internally.”
2. I’ve lost my purpose in life
Your purpose isn’t something that you will ever lose since your purpose is part of who you are. Your purpose is in your heart, is within you. And as long as you will be still breathing and still living on this planet, your purpose will be living as well. So stop looking looking for your purpose out there and look for it within instead. Because that’s where you’ll find your purpose. Your purpose is where you left it.
3. Better to be one of the herd than to be called a “weirdo”
Give up the toxic belief about you having to be like everyone else, and dare to be authentically yourself. Be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else. Instead of going where everyone is going, and doing what everyone else is doing, choose to do what you know in your heart is best for you. Go where your Soul needs you to go, and not where the herd expects you to go.
4. I can’t allow myself to feel vulnerable
Give up all your masks and costumes. Tear down all the walls you have built to hide and numb yourself. Remove all the barriers between you and everyone else and allow yourself to be fully seen. Reveal yourself to those around you and allow yourself to be truly loved. Get comfortable with your perfect imperfections and never deny your vulnerability.
5. I lack the necessary formal education
Give up this limiting and toxic belief about you not being able to move forward in life because you lack the necessary formal education. Never allow the absence of a high-school, college or university degree to keep you from pursuing your dreams. If you are truly passionate about something, and if your know in your heart that you’re meant to do that work, with or without a degree, you’ll find a way to make it happen. It is also easier than ever to earn the degree that you might need to make it happen, thanks to the prevalence of online education. You would not have to quit your current job to reach your goals, since your schooling can be completed in your spare time. Do not let your lack of an advanced degree stand in your way because there are always options available.
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” ~ Audrey Hepburn
6. I can’t be happy until I get there
How many people postpone their happiness because they wait for something magical to happen to them? Happiness is not a destination, happiness is a journey. So give up this idea about happiness being somewhere in the future. Give up this idea about you not being able to be happy until you reach a certain destination, or until you cross all the things off your to-do list, and learn to be happy here and now.
“Many people think that if they were only in some other place, or had some other job, they would be happy. Well, that is doubtful. So get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don’t put off being happy until some future date.” ~ Dale Carnegie
7. Life is hard, oh, so hard
Give up this limiting belief about life being hard, cruel and hostile, and instead embrace life as it is. Trust in the wisdom of life. Trust that maybe life knows a lot more than you do. Look beyond the surface. Seek to learn from every experience life sends your way, and trust that life will always give you the experience that’s most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
8. My parents are to blame for everything
Give up this idea that your parents are to blame for everything that has gone wrong in your life. Stop giving your power away to forces outside of you and learn to take responsibility for your life.
“There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.” ~ J.K. Rowling
9. I don’t need anyone to help me, I can do it all by myself
Give up this limiting and toxic belief about how asking for help and opening yourself up to receiving other people’s help and assistance is a sign of weakness, something only weak people do. Drop your “I don’t need anyone to help me. I’m a strong and independent person, I can do it all by myself” attitude and learn to graciously ask for, and receive help. Not because you can’t do it on your own, but because you are wise enough to understand that asking for help is one of the bravest and most courageous things a strong and independent person can do.
“One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on ‘going it alone.’ Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It’s as if we’ve divided the world into ‘those who offer help’ and ‘those who need help.’” The truth is that we are both.” ~ Brené Brown
10. Love is too painful, I’m done with it
Love doesn’t hurt, expectations do. So give up the idea that love hurts and that you’re better off without it. Nobody’s better off without love, and deep down inside you know this to be true. We are all made of love and made to love. Love isn’t something you can ever give up on, since love is life and life is love. And if you give up on love, you give up on life.
11. I can’t be happy unless I’m in a relationship
Never make your happiness dependent on another person. Never use the absence of a relationship as a justification for why you can’t be happy here and now. Give up this toxic and limiting belief and learn to be happy no matter what… with or without a romantic partner.
“Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.” ~ Brian L. Weiss
12. It’s too late for me to pursue my dreams
It’s never too late to reignite your passion for work, for life and for love. It’s never too late to set a new intention and dream another dream. So give up the idea of you being too old to do the things your ageless soul wants you to do, and dare to honor your inner truth. Always remember that age is nothing but “an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” ~ Mark Twain
13. I will never be a fully functioning person, not after all that I’ve been through
Give up the toxic belief that you and your past are one; give up the limiting belief that the story of your past has to be the story of your life. Be an alchemist. Look for ways to turn your wounds into wisdom and your difficulties into opportunities. Make your life story worth telling, and never allow your history keep you from creating your own destiny.
“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.” ~ George Harrison
14. I can’t trust anyone, not even myself
Give up this limiting and toxic belief that you can’t be trusted, that the people around you can’t be trusted, and that life itself can’t be trusted. We all make mistakes, none of us is perfect, but that doesn’t mean we can no longer trust in one another. That doesn’t mean that you yourself can’t trust yourself and that life itself can’t be trusted. Always remember that trust is the glue of life. It’s the glue that that holds us all together. And where there is no trust, there is no life.
15. I’m all alone
Give up this limiting and toxic belief of you being all alone. You are never alone. You never were and you never will be. In a world full of people, you will never be all alone, unless you choose to think otherwise.
“I am never alone wherever I am. The air itself supplies me with a century of love. When I breathe in, I am breathing in the laughter, tears, victories, passions, thoughts, memories, existence, joys, moments, and the hues of the sunlight on many tones of skin; I am breathing in the same air that was exhaled by many before me. The air that bore them life. And so how can I ever say that I am alone?” ~ C. JoyBell C.
P.S. Because of the many years of past conditioning and the intense training of holding onto things, giving up these toxic and limiting beliefs won’t happen over night, and that’s okay. Be patient and gentle with yourself while working on this process and remember to take one step at a time.
With all my love,
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